Katherine,
I'm sorry for the delay in response.
It's taken me a long time to process
your last letter. (and even now, I don't
think I've come to terms
with the finality or extent of what you
have told me.)
I can only imagine the emotional roller
coaster poor Thomas must be riding on
right now, but I'm glad to hear that (at
least on the surface) he's been able to help you through this most terrifying, horrible time.
As you know, I've always been a pretty
cynical, non-religious person, (due to my own horrors experienced and endured in youth) but I must say that,
through these years of our correspondences I have become what
most would term Spiritual, and much of that has been your doing , so for that
I'm eternally grateful. (and I believe you, about the white door. I think we all have our own.."White Door"..but it always seems to open too SOON for the Best of Souls and that is something that
I will always struggle with regardless of the strength of my newfound faith.)
I promise you that I'll do what I can on my
end, to see that your wishes are carried out to the best of the acting survivors abilities,
and I'll help dear Thomas in any way I can
to know The Katherine that I Know. The Good and the Bad, Happy and Sad. If that is
your Wish.
At the moment my mind recalls our earlier
correspondences, when I was still struggling
with Faith and essentially Nihilistic in my
views. How patient and unwaveringly supportive you were. You never once got mad, or ignored me...never walked away,(in spirit or in pen) and I truly believe it was
THAT which made the greatest of difference
in my learning to see The Beauty, and Goodness and JOY that can still be found in Life if one can lend themselves to the finer
"Angels of their Nature" as you liked to say.
(I too am enamored with the words of Lincoln.)
While I understand, I do regret that I was
not able to spend more time getting to know
Thomas , and watch him grow into the good,
faithful, independent man he's become.
But I feel (through our correspondence) that
on a deeper level I HAVE gotten to experience that growth and transition through you, and the many letters you've
sent.
It's doubtful he remembers me. He was so
very young at the time of your visit here.
But something tells me he and I will be able
to help one another through this most terrible and unfortunate of times, and I hope I'm able to tell him of all the inspiring things
you said and did to help me when I was down. (things which would be far too innumerable to mention if attempted in pen.)
*
Ok. Sorry (again). It's been three days now
since I last worked on this letter. It's something I've been mulling over day and
night ..because I'm struggling with the finality of it. The * Goodbye Nature of it..
it felt like I am closing a book during one
of my favorite chapters and I don't want the
Book to END.